we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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