we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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