my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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