Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
