How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
