so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
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I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
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I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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