Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
