is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
