I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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