i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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