Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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