my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
