I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
