Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
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Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
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I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"