Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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