Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
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You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
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I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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