I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You smell like stripper and shame
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize