just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize