Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
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Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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