i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
