Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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