this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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