I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
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I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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