just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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