so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
