I think i sorta joined a cult last night
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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