if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
