She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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