I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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