All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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