You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
