That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
