I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
