capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
