Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
