i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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