Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I am in a vortex of obligation.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
