i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
