He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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