Banned from zoo.
Again?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
