The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i permit you to call me
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
