I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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