I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
