thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize