You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
