Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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