he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize