Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
