chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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