So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
