Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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