Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Randomize