Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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