Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I need a beard to bite.
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