I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
