I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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