The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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