oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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