He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
