i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I could fuck to npr.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
